fear can suck it

I gave fear a shove out the door this year. Let me explain. Do you remember how I said I was going to announce something big? Well, it made me squirm a little in my chair to tell you that back in December.

Well, EIGHT long months later I am ready to shout it from the roof top. I can do that, I have a flat roof, so I won't fall off.

I took a huge step outside of my tiny little box....

I am taking swimming lessons. That's right. I am thirty two years old and putting my face in the water made me freak out. I hyperventilated at the movie Titanic. Sailing on the ocean, no thank you. Flying over the ocean, give me the isle seat.

That was then! Today I swam a whole lap without freaking out. I think my young teacher wanted to hug me but he refrained. I was so happy! I stared fear in the face and have overcome.

In fact, I have found that this swimming laps business is quickly creeping up my favorite activities ladder.

I have let fear hold me back from experiencing some really wonderful things. I say swimming is the first of many things I will no longer be afraid to do.

Besides, who new I would look hot in goggles?

Something big...

I want to do something big in 2010! I have a running list in my head but not certain what it will be. I have this husband that gets after me for not setting goals, so I want to prove him wrong! Seems like a silly reason to do something but if proving him wrong is my motivation, then so be it.

I live my life today. I always have. It drives my goal oriented husband absolutely bonkers! He has a five year plan always in mind, and I still wonder what I will make for dinner tomorrow. We are very different in that aspect. But I envy and respect him for it. But this year I am going to set a goal and actually, for once in my life, accomplish it! It may not be a decision on where and what I want to be doing in twenty years but this is my baby step of getting closer to that place.

I will let you know what I have chosen as my lofty goal on January 1, 2010! So on that day, please don't laugh or scoff at my attempt to be a more goal oriented woman. Just give me kudos and a wish of good luck to motivate me to swallow fear and the overwhelming urge to quit!!!

Wish me luck!

Puppy

(This is Puppy)

Thank you, Puppy, for serving our family so faithfully these past six years. I love that you have been Declan's best friend and co conspirator for so many seasons. Thank you for enduring to the end for this boy...

(This is Declan)

...all the times you have been puked on, slobbered on, bit, thrown in anger, and lost and or forgotten! How many times have I traveled miles and miles to retrieve you? Thank you for being understanding and a constant companion through all of Declan's woes. Anyway, I promise to mend you and wash you and keep you forever as long as you make my son happy! Keep up the good work!!!

A little absent

I didn't realize that it has been so long since my last post. My excuse? Life exploded and has kept me ever so busy! An understatement. In February I began work a little bit more full time than I have in a lot of years. Our son is now a full day student and what else was I going to do with all my time? Stay home and clean, I think not. Why not get paid a few extra bucks, right. I do wish I had more time in the day but what are ya gonna do?

So....I think I will recap the last months of life. Albeit from my lousy memory but I'll do my best, here goes....

February was a sleepy haze. I was rudely awakened at a new time each day in order to get myself ready for work. Plus side to all this is the cute guy at the office that I call way too often with computer questions. Sometimes I even walk past his desk to get a whistle or a smack on the rear. Luckily he's my husband and the lawsuits are on the back burner (for now). He can harass me any time! And we get to "eat" lunch together every now and then.

March was a little smoother now that I am use to the new schedule. I turned "30" and celebrated our 10 yr anniversary! I had a very fun party with all the peeps I love the most. Minus a few key people that live out of state. I can see the plus side to planning your own shindig. A lesson well learned from Brian. I also received a fabulous belated gift from my sister (see April for details). A highly regarded tradition between the two of us. The later it comes the more we love you!

April I was able to fly to Salt Lake for my nephews baptism and took along my birthday gift. The book Twilight was not on my immediate list of must reads but with my sisters persistence I began the book reluctantly. Guess what...this highly observant girl has no recollection of who sat next to me on the plane to or from Salt Lake. My family heard a lot of "Just let me finish this page" and "In a sec". Needless to say, I stole the rest of the series from my sister and proceeded to let everyone else borrow so I wasn't the only absent wife for a week.
I also was called to be the Primary President in our ward and also proceeded to feel sick at the thought. Glad I gave in, I really love the kids of our ward and the people I serve with. I am also learning a great deal about myself and others. Heavenly Father sure is teaching me how to love those who do not belong to me!

May is voting time in the world of school politics and I am this years VP of PTA and I am so happy not to be the treasurer. The grays have slowed growth in my brown hair.
Chloe turned eight and had a fun birthday at Build a Bear. First party that was not concocted by me but she had fun and I suppose that is what really matters. I say it with sarcasm because it makes me sad to be upped by a franchise. Chloe was also baptized and some of the fam was able to come all the way to Arizona for it. So we had a big party after to celebrate her grand choice to be baptized. I was kind of worried about Brian's philosophy of letting her make the choice for herself but she made a very informed decision and I couldn't be prouder of the reasoning she made. Kids these days are so much stronger than we were.
School finished and a hectic summer began.

June...all I have to say is BEACH HOUSE! I think this was the best time I have had there. We couldn't get enough of the beach or the walks down the board walk. We met a few fun people and had more laughs together than ever. I'm telling you this year will be hard to beat. Brian's cousin Valerie was the new comer to our group and I am so glad she came. I just love her! All the girls took a fun walk to Balboa Island and I found a fun candy shop. I bought Shannon some candy cigarettes (cigs if you were there) and we smoked them in the alley. Just kidding, we did it right in front of the shop owners. Rebels! Some people are really bad influences on me. I really almost peed my pants in that moment though. But for some reason my niece Caitlin thought we were totally lame. I guess that's what happens when you get older. It was all fun until we got back and the little ones got in on the action. The candy "cigs" lost there appeal really fast. We also got to see a baby gray whale and lots of dolphins and seals. We took a three hour tour around the peninsula, okay it was only thirty minutes. Needless to say we had a blast!
Chloe decided that she wanted to try diving this summer. She joined the dive team at the local pool. Who new she was a natural! She got really excited to share her talent with Grandpa who is also a fabulous diver. Chloe was so excited to have something in common with him. She even started to place at the meets which made her want to work harder at practice. It was a lot of fun for Brian and I to watch her develop that talent and show us her new dives. I hope she continues with it next summer.
I also got to see my "boyfriend", Robert Smith, and all his pals of The Cure. We got some sweet box seats which I have discovered are only cool because they are "free" or they were for us. I would much rather be down on the floor with all the die hards dancing. This was one of the best concerts I have attended and they sang every song I thought I would never hear live. I was in heaven!

10 great years!!!!

Oi!! Can I just tell you how much I love city life. Maybe not city life but city excitement. Or maybe it's more like what I get a kick out of. The public transit system (not sure that's what it's called). Enough said!

Occasionally we ride it and that is fun in itself. The crazies that board that thing are usually in their own world. Some are perves and I watch the kids like a hawk. Some are crabby, just visiting, lost, dangerous, and just plain scary. But my favorite is the driver. Sometimes they even fall into the category listed above.

Today was a sight to remember. I really wish that I had had a camera with me. I think I would have clicked away. This driver was a super diva. I'm sure she knows all her regulars by stop and maybe even by name. She was a lovely black woman with hair that could have placed her in a music video and nails to match. And what did I spy her doing but bopping along to whatever song was in her head and TEXTING!!!! In heavy traffic no less. The maneuvering of that extra long bus and texting were simultaneous magic, I tell you.

I am thankful for our super tricked out minivan that keeps our bus riding only for field trips. "Tricked out" you say...yeah!! It comes fully equipped with popcorn, fruit loops, a rock collection, an art collection and it's even a water bottle recycle center. COOL.

Anyways...Peace out bus driver. I hope I get to see you again!

Praise to the Man

This wonderful man passed away last night. My first reaction was sadness; coming from the selfish part of me. Then turned to joy for his reunion with his sweet wife. I wish I could just see a glimpse of that wonderful rejoicing.

This man is the prophet I actually started to listen to. I was a teenager when he became our prophet. He prompted me and so many more to gain a true testimony of my own. I will always be in his debt. I have learned so much from this man.

He is the only prophet my children have known. Chloe was very sad to hear of his passing, but what a wonderful lesson to learn about eternal life. I hope that one day she will have her own prophet to urge her to find it for herself.

I love him and will miss him dearly.

Ironing shirts

In the course of nine years and eleven months of marriage I have never done the ironing. I do on occasion when we are running late for church and I need to iron kids stuff then I will offer to do Brian's as well. But I have never done the full weekly ironing load. Now believe me when I tell you that I get a lot of slack from husbands that do not belong to me! Brian thinks it is quite funny to share this with other people(only for the reaction he gets from me, of course).

Now, do not think of me as lazy, disagreeable, or even a terrible wife. I do many things on the wifely duty chart. You should rather think of me as a very clever girl for having gone this long without doing this "chore". In fact, I even included this information in my prenuptial resume.

Anyway....Friday afternoon, I decided to do my Saturday laundry to get ahead for the weekend. What a great idea!! So I got to thinking and performed a marvelous task. I IRONED!!!!!!!!!! I even think I heard the angels sing! I surprised Brian with a closet full of pre-ironed clothes for work and church. What a lucky fella.

Who new I would get such a great response from my man. I work for kisses and appreciation and I got both that day. But sadly I had to inform him not to get use to it because I remembered why I don't do it in the first place! But I will enjoy the surprise every now and then!

7-11

Last night we set out to find curtains for our Friday night activity. Now Declan has been ill for the past few days; he has spent some time with the porcelain king. He has been running into the bathroom about every thirty minutes or so. He also likes for me to sit there with him so he can lay his head on my lap. He is way to pampered.

So we were off but we begin to fear that Declan may be dehydrated and made a pit stop at the 7-11 on 16th and Thomas. I'd say on the scale of roughness it was probably a seven (as far as 7-11's go). Then Brian proceeds to ask the homeless for change and stealing their half lit cigarettes. Okay that was exaggerated for my brother's behalf, but he did go in.

As Brian is browsing the Gatorade flavors a very dingy and rough looking fella walks into the store. The clerk is on the phone not paying attention to anything. So this other guy walks behind the counter and seems to talk to himself and to my horror flashes a gun!!! What the crap!!! (Not exactly what I was saying in the moment) But ten years of marriage flash before my eyes and I am freaking out. Brian walks up front to get the o.k. on flavor choice which looks as if he is in the middle of a stick up(both hands up in the air). Could he really have missed all this while deep in thought about which drink to buy? As my heart is racing Brian hands over some of the contents of his wallet (his visa card) and has a laugh and comes to the car.

Me: What the heck was that all about?

Brian: Oh, I think that guy was drunk. Why?

Me: Oh, nothing. I just thought you were going to die, that's all.

The kids: Which flavor is mine? I want grape!

I am so glad I did not have to witness the demise of my husband. That would have been a terrible way to start the shopping trip;)

We proceeded on to our various destinations and came home with five sets of curtains and even ironed, hemmed, and hung them all before crashing at midnight!!!

By the way, 7-11 is officially off the pit stop list!

I almost watched every second of my husband's ending!!

A glance at our year

This holiday season we received some very nice updates from our friends and family. So "THANKS A LOT" because Brian has been riding my B-U-T-T to do one for us. Seeing that the holiday window from not-seeming-too-tacky-to-send-it-in-the-mail is lost to me once more, I have decided to blog it!

January: Brian installed a very nice tray dishwasher for me in our very tight kitchen. It's so great because I didn't loose to much storage space. He's the man around here. I think we even painted our living room the same day. Kudos to us. We also bought two rental properties totaling seven units and a whole lot of head aches and humor.

February: Was a short month and I'm sure we went to the zoo or something. We also went up north for a spontaneous snow trip and a chilly stay in a very old cabin. The kids had so much fun sledding and playing in the snow. We also discovered that Declan is deathly afraid of the Rainforest Cafe frog.

March was a big one! I turned 29 and we celebrated our 9 year anniversary in Hawaii. That place is truly paradise and I can't wait to go back. I even snorkeled, which is huge for me since I hyperventilate over anything to do with the ocean. Although I did almost drowned my husband and cause him to be eaten by sharks. We made it home in time to meet our shipment of the best darn pineapples ever eaten. The kids spent that week with Shannon and of course did not want to come home to our boring kidless street (except for our two).


April: We experienced our first eviction and the head ache mentioned previously is finally gone! We also had to clean that gross apartment out ourselves and had quite the exciting day of finding drugs, porn (all of which we chose not to partake) and roaches that apparently have no fear of humans. UGH! A nice chat with the local policeman and a tour of the "this is how people live when they do drugs" for our five an seven year old. I am sure it had quite the impact on them. Good learning experiences are gathered under our belt and we move on to find a few decent renters.

May: Chloe turned 7 and had a very fun and low-key party. I was voted into the hell known as PTA treasurer. Brian also remodeled a kitchen at one of our apt. units and did a fabulous job as usual.

June was also quite busy. The kids were in school until the end of the second week of June and then we had some serious packing to do. We went to the beach house in New Port. We love to sit on the beach and play all day. We were even fortunate enough to take the kids and Craig to Disneyland for the day. It was a very fun trip as usual. Then I was off to girls camp as ward camp director/cabin mom. It was enjoyable but I was away from home for much too long that month.

July: Declan turned 5 and Brian turned 33. We discovered the good times at the Encanto pool and cheap pickle snacks at the pool snack bar! We definitely missed our old pool this summer. The kids also found out that they like to dive. Chloe even tried some new tricks and Brian and his dad made big splashes. Declan on the other hand made the lifeguards very nervous because he stays under much too long. The boy is a natural fish and can hold his breath like no other.

August: Brian and I decided it was the perfect weather to lay out 650 sq. feet of brick for a very spacious patio. It looks awesome and we eat out there almost every night for dinner. As for the weather it was very hot and sticky. The kids also started back to school and seem to enjoy the new year.

September feels like it just happened. Brian extended the front porch with left over brick. Very nice. Did I mention that he is the man.

October is always a fun month. How can you possibly top Halloween. Declan knew for months that he wanted to be a fire man then refused to wear the costume come trunk or treat time. Chloe was a cute little 50's gal. Brian was a Rabi and I went as a nun. The weather finally decided to cool off and our back yard got some nice green grass.

November: Okay, maybe Thanksgiving tops Halloween. This was a very relaxing month. Except for the night I almost stepped on this year's mouse. Don't worry, the sticky trap did the trick. We also discovered that a cat lives in our ceiling/attic. What the hell, just let it stay.

December: I just decided, Christmas is the best holiday. Chloe and Declan are very sweet kids and made very short and simple lists. Declan wanted a cow and some boots. Chloe wanted some LPSs and a jump rope and both wanted a scooter. How easy is that, except for the cow. They were very excited on Christmas morning but the most excitement came from the return note from Santa. Chloe couldn't believe her eyes when she read the note he left her. Brian and I got to enjoy a nice weekend alone up in snowy Salt Lake City. We also decided to get a puppy and soon decided to move her along via craigs list. And Declan unbuttoned his Sunday shirt for the the first time in his life! That was a party in itself. Chloe is a DDR maniac along with Brian and myself.

All in all it was a fabulous year and I can't wait for all the excitement to come in the new year. We hope yours is equally as exciting!

Magical weekend merories...

Oh, what a fun filled weekend this turned out to be! Friday was our schools first annual "Fall Festival". I say annual because it turned out really great! And the kids are going to expect it every year hereafter. So I was in charge of selling tickets and sometimes I like to pretend that I am a sales person. So I like to up sell!! What's so wrong with that?

Me: Hey kid. How much money do you have?

Kid: Fifty cents.

Me: Well, you should give it to me and I will give you two tickets.

(Kid gives me all his money)

Kid: So what can I get with two tickets?

Me: Nothing. Go get more money from your parents!!!

Kid: WHAAWHAA (kid crying)

Me: (Game face)

Kid: Your the worst mom in the world!

Just kidding. That didn't happen. It wasn't my kid and when he started to cry I gave him a bunch of free tickets. Needless to say, the weekend started off great!

Saturday gets better. We go to Declan's soccer game and he actually played. Hurray! Then we are off on our weekend errands. Get home and help Brian fling poo. That's right folks, we seeded the back yard and covered it with fertilizer. That stuff was everywhere. The dust from it was all over Declan's face and in my nose and in our shoes. Did I mention that it stinks? I should know it was up my nose. All fun aside we had a party to go to.
This fun party was at a bowling alley so the kids were super excited. The adults bowled our game quickly and the kids took forever. So in that overlapping time I had some time to really kick back and be myself! I helped Declan toss a ball down his lane and watch him fall because I neglected to tell him not to step over the line. He landed flat on his back! I also had time to watch Chloe bowl a few frames and order more water for the party. I also managed to mistakenly goose a man that was not my husband! That's right, I'm a dork! It wasn't really a goose, more like a pre ATM swipe if you know what I mean. I was very apologetic and red in the face and sweaty and laughing so hard I almost wet my pants. Not even cupcakes made it better but at least I have a date for Tuesday.
I think things like that happen to me more than they should. Like at church; I know that my husband is not the only fella who wears a suit. But sometimes my brain doesn't let me past the suit and I grab the wrong guy. Didn't matter that he was shorter and signing. WHY?!
But today was good. I kept all physical contact within the fam and got to relax. Chloe made us all a snack and I didn't have to cook dinner. I even had a fun chat with my sister. All in all it turned out to be a great weekend despite a few mishaps along the way!

Ode to Chloe

I love, love, love this girl.

Who new she would rock my world for the better.

She is my first born!

Here are just a few things I adore...

** Her eyes! They are the color of water with a stripe of brown to keep her grounded.

** Her smile is kind and full of fun.

** Her dance moves! I love that she thinks the robot is cool!

** Her style! When did she wake up Japanese? I wish I could wear all my faves together and pull it off!

** The way she takes care of her brother. There is nothing better for me than to spy her giving him a hug and making him feel important.

** Her eagerness to help around the house. Right now it's called being a good helper in a few years it will be called chores. But she has fun so I won't spoil it for her.

** She loves to ride bikes or take walks with the whole family.

** Her desire to say the prayer. She has food prayer down pat and is moving on to family prayer. Only she likes to combine the two so when we are really hungry Declan says it!

These are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head. She is my favorite little gal who has no idea how much better she makes her two parents.

Some words about nothing

Not much has been happening around here. I'm sure the kids said some funny things but I don't blog when they are around because I get carried away. And I get extremely lazy at ten o'clock at night. So the kids are back at school and me likey!

The weather is so beautiful here and we have been eating outside every night. Last night it was so chilly but the kids insisted on eating outdoors with blankets and hot chocolate. I have to admit, that was pretty fun.

Brian and I went to a Halloween party on Friday dressed as a nun and a rabbi. Great combo I thought. Besides, if you can't be sac religious with your friends then who can you. I have never laughed so hard at a party before this one, and this group of friends are always laughing. I almost puked from the scooter story. That was classic and Jimmy is going to have to dig deep to top that story next time.

Brian and I are stumped. We want to move but to where is the question. This little house has run it's course and there are no kids on our street to play with. The primary is small and achievement days are around the corner for Chloe and she needs a group!!! Do you like your neighborhood? Please sell me on it!

Interesting drug

I had to take Declan to the doctors office yesterday for strep throat...again. The three of us just had it two weeks ago. So she wants to put him on something stronger and of course more expensive. Seventy five bucks for ten pills is hard to swallow especially when they choose to spit it out. So on my way out I ask if they ever give the shot of antibiotics. Hello, why didn't I think of that before? Brian and I always get the shot if available. It just makes more sense and you feel better faster. So they gave him the shot that they keep secret and I didn't have to pay extra. This shot hurt like hell though and I might think twice before putting my child through that pain (I had to practically sit on his little body while the nurse injected his little butt cheek).

So, in all this guilt building moment, I promise to buy him a toy. Listen, it helped get him through it. Anyhow, at the end of all this we end up at costco for lunch. All was leisurely and quiet at the costco food court until...the crazy bus rolls in. You know who they are, they get to see daylight once a month from the group home. They are eating lunch with the chaperons and one sat alone. I kept watching him because he was, well, acting like a crazy. I thought for sure he was going to puke which was the last thing I wanted to see, hear or smell. So finally after a few minutes he gets off his seat and kneels. I'm sitting there in suspense waiting for what he does next. He flops face down ever so gently and starts into a seizure. A mild one by the way, he twitched a little. Five minutes into it and twelve costco and spectrum mall officials later and he is still face down. The security guard is getting reamed, the crazies are watching very intently and I am cracking up. Not at this man's condition but at the situation. The garbage guy could have yelled "call 9-1-1" instead of "hey we got one down (not being heard by who he is addressing yells louder) HEY we got one down here". The security guy could do his job and tell people to keep on moving. One of those twelve employees could wait for the firemen out front and update them on there slow leisurely walk into the mall. Apparently they know this guy. "He does this all the time" is what they tell costco. There prescription for what ailed him was a slice of pizza and a coke. So was he faking? Who knows. But Declan forgot all about his throbbing bum when the firemen walked in. He kept flashing them thumbs up because he adores them so much. And he waved them goodbye until they were out of site.

Let me tell you what. I love days like that; when I get to see goof at it's finest. To end the day, we had a nice meal with the missionaries and brownies for dessert and Declan got a new bulldozer.

I love lazy Sundays

I had the best Sunday yesterday! We slept in and then got everyone ready for church. We braved Stake conference and were rewarded with only an hour long meeting and a parking spot! How great is that? Then we headed out during the last song to beat the bog down and headed over to Blockbuster to return movies only to receive two credits. We ended up with three movies for the price of one...NICE!!! Then to continue tradition we ate at Super Salad for lunch. What a lovely day this was shaping out to be.

We headed home and I put on my Sunday pants (gauchos) and took a fifteen minute snooze. Then got up and looked through some fun magazines. I found a cute picture and sketched in my new fancy sketch book (that I got on clearance at Michaels). I actually had time to draw and not to brag but it actually looked decent when I was done. It has been a good ten years since I have pulled out the old tools. A little dusty (metaphorically speaking) but still workable. Brian gave a lesson on talents and I got really disappointed with myself for not having the courage to share them. So here I am on my Sunday, drawing!

Then I emerged back into the family and my mom came over for a visit and she watched TMNT with Declan and I took another nap! AWESOME. Then when she and my granny left Shannon, Ben and the little ones arrived and the kids played and the hamsters escaped and then were caught and then escaped again. A little chaotic but a very enjoyable evening. Then Brian's mom came for a visit. What a great day. We got to see the whole family (that resides in the Phoenix valley) and I didn't have to leave the house!!!

I even got to enjoy the rain drizzle down in the sunlight. Beautiful. I wish every Sunday could be like this.

Tagged

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. Working up the courage to ask out Brian or convince him to ask me
2. Single life (need I say more)
3. Working at the bank (snooze fest, but it paid me money)
4. Beginning college classes (art history...would still like to pursue that)
5. Concerts!!!!

5 things on my "to do" list today:
1. Laundry (yuck)
2. Have breakfast with Kristy...Check
3. Dinner menu for the week
4. Storage to get Halloween decor
5. Read with the kids

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Salad (almost everyday with Declan after school)
2. Popcorn with sour candies melting in it
3. MexiMelts from Tacobell
4. Homemade cookies and or breads
5. Vanilla bean anything

5 songs I know the Lyrics to:
1. Lucky Star ~ Madonna
2. Anything the Cure (you always know your boyfriends songs)
3. I walk the line ~ Johnny Cash
4. Blister in the sun ~ Violent Femmes (I just heard that song)
5. Hey there Delilah ~ Plain White T's (but who doesn't)

5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire:
1. Visit the Mediterranean
2. Buy a killer cabin up north
3. Keep doing my thing & the family thing...naturally
4. Go back to school (Art History)
5. Invest

5 Bad Habits:
1. Reading other peoples blogs
2. Constantly touching my face
3. I am a bugar flicker instead of tissue (you know you do it too)
4. I do too many projects and so I go in circles
5. I suffer from lyrical road rage (I call people bad names so now Declan helps yell retard, freaking dork, but has yet to repeat @$$**!*)

5 Things I would never wear again:
1. Panty hose
2. Spandex (actually never did that but can't see a need for it in the future)
3. High tops
4. Ankle boots (I don't have the ankles for them)
5. Anything the color of mustard

5 of my favorite toys:
1. the IPod
2. My camera
3. Some art supplies I got a while ago (I am finally using them)
4. Brian
5. Wii (it's really fun)

Your turn if you like...

Seven things

You might not have known about me (for a reason?)....

** I really love the smell of a freshly lit cigarette (the rest of it smells like poop)

** I like to karaoke when I fold laundry (super embarrassing when I am caught)

** I talk to myself...a lot!

** I give up Dr. Pepper on a daily basis but always sneak it the next day (weird, I know)

** I am a closet Barry Manilow fan

** I have many air head moments (another blog moment)

** My dreams are usually about water

My life with the thrill kill cult...

I think this blog has become more of a confessional booth for me. Forgive me father for I have sinned...

A week or so ago we came to find that our home had been infiltrated by fleas. How does that happen when you don't own pets that are flea worthy? Whatever the cause, they were there eating us. Ask me how I slept! Well, I didn't. I stress too much over that kind of stuff. So anyways, we had a hamster (notice the key word of that sentence) and we noticed that he was starting to scratch himself like a dog. I was convinced that he had also been infiltrated by fleas as well. What was I to do? I had to take action! The pest control peeps came to spray and Diamond had to get de-flead. Well, apparently pet stores don't have powder for hamsters and their advise is to take it to a vet. A vet? For a $10 hamster?! So I call my husband and ask what shall I do? Let it go? We concluded that that was the best bet. I feel guilty and seek comfort from a friend, who in turn laughs at my situation. She gives me a boost and out we go.

This little fella knows how good he's got it and will not leave the nest. After much prompting he refuses. After all the nights in the house of trying to break out for the great beyond, and now he won't go when it is offered to him! Eventually he finally stepped out of the cage and I went in. GUILT STRICKEN! I call Brian for the hundredth time (he was conveniently out of town), and said "I am the most horrible mom in the world" and his sweet reply was...."I didn't think you would actually do it! Go get him and I will take care of it this weekend." I rush out to save him from me and I find him on his death bed. The hamster was out in the Phoenix heat for five minutes and is now on his way out? CRAP! What do I do?

I'll tell you what I did. I tone down the details for sister, just like any other parent would, and head straight for Petsmart. Bury our poor little friend in the pet cemetery we have started in the back yard. And welcome in the newest members of our family...Scruffy and Muffin! Sister mourned for a week or so and I am very careful not to mention the name of our dearly departed. A weekend at the Point Squaw Peak and the fleas are gone. The kids had fun at the water park there and a deep cleaning later we are all feeling less stressed.

As for the deaths of so many animals within our walls only one was preventable. The roof rat had it coming, the turtles didn't have a chance and the hamster's story has just been told. Maybe one day in twenty years or so Sister will know the full story but as for now you are sworn to secrecy.

p.s....I am not for hire, Jimmy!

I'm totally with you on this one!

One of my girlfriends just put out a challenge that is totally worthy for a blog this fine morning! Personal prayer. Something I lack most of the time, except of course when I am in personal crisis. I, too, am finding that I am a "mean" mom. Something that kills me; it was not too long ago that I was overflowing with patience. My husband would even comment on how I could manage to get through tantrums and not blow my top. I try to remember back on how I managed to do it. I am pretty positive that I used to pray for help daily to have the strength to get through the melt downs and through the sassy demands from those that came from my loins.

I remember one day in particular that I snapped and yelled at my children and the response was remarkable. I think of that comedian on "Last Comic Standing" that said how snappy the kids get a little bit more polite after she karate chops them in the throat..."yes ma'am", "thank you ma'am", "may I please have some juice". It was funny for a second to hear her say that and then I thought of my poor kids. My stomach did a flip flop. Hitting or yelling, it all seems the same to me.

So here is my vow today. I am going to get back to basics! Heavenly Father is going to be busy and I am going to be a prayerful mother full of patience and understanding (and no more lazy). Another plus is that I am going to be an example to my little ones. Like my favorite primary song "Love is Spoken Here". I hope that my kids will one day think of me when they hear that song. The way that my mom pops into my head.

Thank you Kristy for helping me to be better! And now you can get after me if I am a slacker.

PTA

What have I gotten myself into?!! I just got voted in to be treasurer of the PTA at my kids' school. Yes it will be a nice learning experience and I will get to be involved a little more at school, but seriously do I really have the time? I guess I do now. Although after the vote and swearing in all the gals say that being treasurer in PTA is the suckiest job. Thanks ladies for the confidence builder and I hope being President and Vice President suck equally as well!!!